“Wow, my entire life was a waste.”
Dead, his soul floating in the limitless void, and very bored during, our hero’s prior life seemed tasteless.
Life was about to turn around for our hero. He had published two light novels before, “Help! The Girls School has Made Me Their Dog” and “My Antisocial Sister is a Succubus”, and his next one received a lot of support and enthusiasm, in the form of his publisher breathing down his neck. His mother was willing to pay for the first few months of rent after he left the basement. He was even on the way towards the path to having a girlfriend.
If only that truck hadn’t hit him.
“Thank God it’s over. My life was a waste. I’m short and fat. I couldn’t make money as a light novelist. My dad thought I was gay. Not an hour before I came to a cosplayer’s thighs.
“Every time I said I would do better, I gave up and stuck to my old habits. When I knew what was the right thing to do, I ignored my better self. Now I’m dead, and I didn’t experience what most people get to experience: happiness, friendship, love. Or, at least, what most of my characters get to experience.
“If I get a second life, I’d change things around. I mean, I died, so I know there’s nothing worse than that.” So he thought, bored in the void.
He was then dragged down, as if an invisible whirlpool were drawn beneath his feet. He tried paddling with his arms in the wind and calling for help. He was taken through a corridor of stars, and finally emerged into a brilliant white light.
Where the void had been only black, this world was a luminous white, almost painfully bright. Sitting on a stool, a beautiful woman with a lofty addressed him.
“Greetings. As you should know, you are dead. Normally you would travel to an appropriate afterlife, but I have been tasked to make offers to similar souls as you: an offer to live in another world ...”
She had amazing breasts. They were magnificent breasts in the world prior, and any world he would experience after. Her breasts were so sufficient no other were needed. They were fantastic regardless of the angle or the pose one caught her in; in fact, they were so big they could not be obscured, regardless of where one was in the room. They were sufficient in bankrupting every milkman. In a sense they were like two gods, of beauty, of bounciness. They were like bunnies trying to escape from her flimsy dress, they were like fruit heavy on a bough, they were majestic waterfalls of flesh. He was genuinely afraid they would fall sheer off her body, leaving her breastless, but no less beautiful. He wanted every part of his body to touch those breasts.
“... and upon defeating the demon lords you will be richly rewarded. What do you say?”
“Yes.”
“On returning back to life?”
“Absolutely, yes.”
They smiled and shook hands.
“You have the softest hand I have ever touched,” he said.
She smiled and gazed at him inquiringly.
© 2025 François-Marie Lee