Upon learning our hero had a brooch to sell, the businesswoman offered to sell it for him.
When the brooch was discovered to have belonged to goblins, despite its beauty, it did not sell for much. The many appraisals and models she acquired to increase its value helped its price little.
Our heroes sought respite from their task and walked around the city, finding a parade in their path.
The king asked the healer if any treasures were found from our heroes’ last adventure. The healer, dissatisfied with the king’s reaction to our hero’s danger, replied that he, in fact, did: he found a set of magical clothing.
The healer held it up. The king professed to see nothing. The healer asserted they were invisible clothing, woven by elves. The king put them on. He felt neither warmth from the cold nor comfort from the wind. The healer asserted that elves had a great deal of veneration for nature, and felt that the best clothing argued for an intimate connection with that same nature. Believe me, the healer said, in-between inhalations of his flask, I once knew many elves.
The king finally asked, Is this clothing very expensive? To which the healer responded, Yes, the more threadbare, the more expensive.
The king thus demanded a ceremony to celebrate his acquisition of these very expensive clothes. He ordered trumpet-players to trumpet, drummers to drum, and beautiful women to be beautiful. He paraded his invisible but very expensive clothing to all the noblemen and noblewomen first. Most of the noblewomen had already seen him naked, and most of the noblemen had seen there was nothing to him, and so they had very diminished reactions.
He then paraded himself to the commoners, who were surprised that the king would allow himself to be seen in such a state, but not very surprised to see he possessed nothing impressive underneath his usual attire. A child remarked that the king was not wearing anything; this child was considered very stupid; he was stupid not because he was incorrect about the king’s true state, but that he even cared in the first place. For kings are kings because they are most forgiven for their follies.
The king ordered the child to be executed. The businesswoman, who found little disagreeable in the king, in fact had said his majesty looked splendid today, inquired after the nature of the king’s clothing. The king reiterated what the healer had told him. So the clothing had no weight? Yes, the king affirmed. The clothing could not be felt? Yes, the king affirmed. But the clothing was very expensive? Yes, the king affirmed, worth more than my palace.
Seeing the king was growing tired of these philosophical discursions, the businesswoman suggested that, instead of the very righteous execution of this child, he should instead be sold to the king, to be the bearer of this very delicate piece of clothing. Because the clothes were not heavy, a child could hold them; because the clothes were delicate, only a delicate child could handle them; and because the clothes were very expensive, only a child possessed the innocence not to steal them. And, because the clothes were very expensive, its bearer too needed to be paid great expenses, otherwise this whole thing just didn’t make any sense.
The king agreed with all of these. The businesswoman had one more thing to added: a king needs a scepter as a symbol of his power, and she had a scepter to sell.
These events gave the businesswoman a very good idea.
The businesswoman rented an auction room and invited prospective buyers of jewelry for an event. Entering, they found a large goose on center stage, secretly our hero in disguise. This was the magic gold-laying goose. To add to the deception, she placed an even larger goose behind the goose, the very mother who laid the golden egg that birthed the goose who laid golden eggs. To quell any further doubts, the businesswoman supplied the resumés of both goose, which she herself wrote. The goose was very easy to hire as she refused to lay eggs of late due to the grief from losing her newborn.
Our hero would lay an egg from his rear, from which would hatch the brooch. Bidding would begin, and already it earned the highest bids ever placed in an auction in the city. At the end, the businesswoman would declare the winner and promise to distribute the awards after the show. Then she turned the stage around, allowing the goose some solitude and peace to lay another egg. In this moment of darkness she inlaid another cheap gem on the brooch, placed the brooch back in the egg, which was placed back into our hero’s rear, turned the stage facing the audience again, and began bidding. The businesswoman was not sure how she would hide the wealth nor how she could spend it; but she felt equipped to handle this in due time.
The longness of the show troubled the giant goose. She stood and walked across the stage. The businesswoman thought she was getting a drink of water. Instead, she squatted over our hero and introduced him to her rear, as she dearly missed the gosling she had birthed.
Ever the professional, the businesswoman continued the auction with a wrinkle: she would offer up next the gold-laying goose. Only true royalty could have made the bids that were offered. During this time, the businesswoman held our hero’s legs down, so that at least his stomach was still showing; anything less, and he would have suffocated inside of the giant goose.
The final bid was made, and this could have been honored. She sold our hero to the princess, took the gold pieces from the other auctioneers, and fled the city for a long time. The former felt nothing could be done for the depressed goose except to kill, cook and eat her, which was the only consolation for the nobles who lost much money that day.
© 2025 François-Marie Lee