Our hero sought a loan from the princess. He believed he had good relations with her due to his adventure with the jackalope.
There was no jackalope to be found in her palace. In fact, there was not much of a palace anymore. The mansion had been sieged by the replacement’s army to purge all of his predecessor’s relations. This was a sound policy in the circumstances that any intended to take his crown from him.
Our hero found the princess’s eunuch weeping over the ruins. He had been the princess’s guardian since she was a young girl, and living without her drove him mad with grief. When our hero told him his predicament, he surmised that the replacement could not take all of the wealth away, as if it was very vast and diffuse. If the princess were present, she would invest in our hero’s business in hopes of restoring her status.
Unfortunately a spy overheard this conversation and sent them to jail, as it was sound policy to disallow any citizen from mentioning the enemies of the state, in fear of fomenting dissent.
Upon entering the jail they learned, in those dark quarters where men had no hope of having anything that make life happy, men bartered in the currency of terror. Prisoners terrorized their companions by raping them; the more a man raped, the more he was feared, the more he was able to convince his fellows and the guards, and the more other prisoners sought to be raped by him for their protection. The princess, being a beautiful woman, received the worst raping anyone had ever seen, but she reacted to it with indifference, and disappointment, and contempt, for their rapes were light compared to her parties. No matter whether they raped her in the shower or in the mess hall, she did not bat an eyelash. She used the spikes of the iron maiden as toys and played with herself in the bronze bull. She was unrapeable. This was how she rose to the heights of the jail’s hierarchy.
She organized a jousting tournament for her own amusement. Each round had two men. Both would place a sheath resembling a horse over their member, and hold their erect member at round start. Given a signal, one man would receive the other’s manhood in a shouting rush. Whoever cried uncle first lost. The eunuch was given a pickle.
Our hero won, not by virtue of his member, which was somewhat small, but by the reason that his rear was never bothered by the members of others. It had grown quite wide and the fat cushioned it. When the princess asked what his prize should be, he answered “Freedom”. The other prisoners wanted freedom as well, and executed the guards, decorating the jail with their organs.
Thereafter they were freed, the princess replied she would only share her wealth with a husband, examined our hero’s genitals, and found them of insufficient size.
© 2025 François-Marie Lee