Our hero, during his adventure to find a suitor for the princess, who for all intents and purposes was now a pauper, found one other investor. He concluded this investor could only be a last resort. The dwarves provided him with incredible armor. He wrote a will providing for his child dragon and donned the armor as he made his way into the dark castle.
The castle’s exterior was adorned with sculptures of devils impaling humans. Its air was foul and yet cold. The fountain of the plaza flowed with blood.
When our hero entered, he was greeted by three succubi. These ladies were very beautiful, so he agreed to remove his armor.
The host would not attend dinner, so our hero had to be comforted by these ladies. They ate human eyes as an hors d’oeuvre, roasted human women, pregnant with child, as the main course, and chilled human brains cooked in rosemary for dessert. Our hero did not know they were human and so ate happily, as his hostesses frequently related how hot the room was and removed more and more articles of clothing.
Our hero was then taken to a guest room, where his hostesses placed themselves on the same couch in very compromising positions. Our hero, having never been with a woman, except a very lucky doe, was not compelled to make love with them. This was fortunate, as their vaginas were lined with razor sharp teeth.
Finally, the host led him into his office. The office was dark, and his head was aflame.
This was one of the four demon lords, upon whom the fate of the world hinged upon.
Our hero presented his business’s strengths and the fruits to be had for an investor. The demon lord listened little. In his eyes he owned everything in the world. He simply thought of ways to have fun.
The demon lord approved the loan. Our hero bribed the replacement and his advisors and purchased the large tract of land. He hired a great deal of men to work on the farm; some were skilled, most were hardworking, and those who were not talented in this type of work were treated charitably by our hero, such that skilled and hardworking people were drawn to the farm. The farm was doing well in several ways: it brought our hero and his friends a great deal of gold; it provided quality goods that other cities sought; and it increased the wealth of its workers, who themselves would purchase their own farms. The workers, whose sole security prior to this was to sell their bodies and souls to the nobles for the possibility, not the surety, of a scrap of bread, were content as they were finally captains of their own lives. This contentment would lead to only one conclusion.
Our hero was arrested and brought before court. The prosecutor accused him of fomenting dissent and plotting to assassinate the replacement, who is the king. Her evidence consisted of our hero evading his own assassination.
For example, our hero refused to eat a poisoned pie. He simply thought the boy should have had it.
He dodged the garotte in his own bed. He had wondered why the circulation in his right arm was so bad.
He sidestepped a crossbow bolt. He thought someone had installed a peg for his keys.
As he clearly knew of his own assassination, he knew his life was in mortal danger, and thus he knew he was revenged by the king’s friends and allies. He therefore attempted to assassinate the king. This was the worst crime, and so he had to be executed.
This verdict upset the peasantry greatly, who responded by setting the courthouse on fire. They would have stormed the replacement’s new palace had his royal guard not assembled around it. They promised to return with more armaments.
Fortunately for our hero, he was replaced by his clone, the phallus’s plaything. The prosecutor, to save her own neck, gave our hero a lenient sentencing and put him in jail indefinitely. The prisoners were not allowed to rape him, so he ingratiated himself to them, using his greatly-widened rear, by blowing wind on them in the poorly-circulated prison during very hot days.
Our hero disliked the death and destruction and judged, rightly, that the farm could not succeed during a war, and he could not grow flowers for the goddess. The businesswoman agreed. However, the business for making weapons would prosper.
© 2025 Justin Lee