Our hero was distraught at accumulating more debt. He would have to spend five new lives servicing clients to pay off this sum. He made up his mind to end this one and start a new one on a clean slate.
The businesswoman, upon hearing this, had a proposition for him, while eating the bread in his hand. The city’s nobles gathered together for weekly auctions. Our hero would be presented with several appraisals collected by the businesswoman, and he would sell himself on the condition that he perish within a year of employment.
A doctor appraised him first. The doctor noted that, regardless of our hero’s weight, he was in good health, and thus had a working heart, set of livers, set of lungs, et cetera, which would be useful for those in need.
The recruiter appraised him next. He noted that our hero was unusually obedient and diligent, as a result of a decade of indoctrination in primary and secondary school, though he was very stupid. He was not fit for physical labor, but he was able to perform more sophisticated roles, as yes-man and fall guy.
A mage appraised him next. He observed that our hero did not have a scrap of intelligence towards learning magic, but he noted the unusual makeup of our hero’s blood that would act as a component for certain rituals and potions.
A cleric appraised him next. He observed that our hero was faithful, but lacked the imagination needed to devote himself entirely to a god. He could make for a good sacrifice, though.
A chef appraised him next. He said, very clearly, though cannibalism was illegal in the city, someone who preferred the taste of human meat over any other’s may find him delectable as a result of his adipose tissue.
A madam appraised him next. She noted that our hero was unlikely to hurt or disagree with a person. However, his tastes were fairly vanilla. Thus he would make for a good pet or good sport or, alternatively, a willing donor if an heir was desperately needed.
An artist appraised him next. He noted our hero’s drawing skills were fine, but he consistently drew the female body in outrageous proportions and generally drew his subjects in flat angles. This outraged our hero; he and the artist fought on stage; the artist won; and so it was appraised that our hero was no fighter.
Our hero was finally awarded to a man wearing a tabard depicting an eagle with a serpent in its talons, the standard of a notable family. When asked why, this august gentleman with some grey answered: “I intend to take this and other assets I have procured today on my final campaign into the hinterlands.” He was most persuaded by the appraisal of our hero’s former recruiter, who did not discern any skills except in sketching. “I desire a triptych depicting my last triumph and will use the sketches to commission it. That is how I will honor the terms of expiration; in fact, I think this business will be over within a week.” With that, he towed our hero away in chains along with a great many other men.
© 2025 François-Marie Lee