The healer recommended a soldier, a mage, and a linguist to add to their team. They chose the finest soldier, a scarred man who distinguished himself in the most recent war by receiving the most spears inside his body. They chose the finest mage, a woman who studied in a renowned college some cities away. They chose the best linguist, the businesswoman who had no formal training but self-taught herself several languages from the royal library, whose books she stole. With himself and our hero, they made a team of five. He then divided the other adventurers into teams of five, decided arbitrarily what were the best talents of whom, and believed between half to a tenth of them would live through the ordeal.
After a long ceremony, in which the king called them all brave, wise adventurers and exhorted them to uncover the mysteries of the dungeon, our heroes descended. They dispatched living slimes and giant rodents, disarmed traps, and deciphered some of the hieroglyphics, which described a deity who the king possibly originated from. The other adventurers quickly deceased from the lack of oxygen their torches siphoned. The healer had a lantern with a living fire sprite which, being magical, did not require material.
They encountered a large sacrificial chamber painted in dried blood. The skeletons of victims were tied to the chairs there. The deciphered text showed that, every year, seven men and seven women were sacrificed to the minotaur every seventy seven years. The upper part of the minotaur that was a bull’s fed on the flesh of the men. The lower half of the minotaur that was a man’s required the flesh of the women. Lurking in the darkness the minotaur bellowed, much upset at the absence of sacrifices in however many centuries.
It was here the mage revealed she knew only magic theory, and little in the way of application. She could attest that the universe was made of four elements, and that magic consisted of manipulating these elements using catalysts, but she hardly produced a fireball. The healer did not tell her even this theory was wrong. Upon the minotaur’s entrance, its beard caked with blood, the soldier allowed himself to be gored by the minotaur, for standing in the line of fire was all he knew to do. Unfortunately, the beast had little to do with one body.
Finding none of their arms worked, our heroes fled into the labyrinth, each becoming lost in the endlessly branching paths. The minotaur followed the red of the mage’s dress, and her screams intermixed with the minotaur’s bellows echoed throughout the maze. After some time groping in the darkness, our heroes met again and debated on what to do. It was possible the minotaur was satiated on the mage and the soldier, but they could not plan on this circumstance. The healer knew no magic that could directly harm anyone. The businesswoman could rely on only one type of magic.
The minotaur dragged the mage in the dirt, desiring to save her for later. He made his way to the soldier’s corpse. It was then the healer struck him in the head with his staff. Rather than feeling pain, he felt the speed and quality of his thoughts grow, he felt new concepts and emotions surge into him, in short, he felt enlightened. His intelligence increased, the businesswoman presented the argument the life he was leading was a waste – after all, he had spent however many centuries in this dungeon and was not getting any younger – and that to lead a truly virtuous life he needed to become a pacifist, a vegetarian, and a husband to this young woman whom he had lied with. He had no previous exposure to ethics and philosophy, he was baffled enough by his developing conscience to agree. Thus the college graduate became a woman, and the minotaur a thinker, and both were now wedded.
© 2025 François-Marie Lee